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My hips were useless at providing any level of thrust at the angle they were asked. The instructional website the company provides says that once the Balldo is inserted, "light thrusting" is possible, which, as marketing overstatements go, is right up there with Red Bull promising the power of flight. You see—and I am addressing the creators of the Balldo when I say "you" here—inserting any kind of phallus into any kind of orifice requires some amount of force or leverage. We use our hips, our core, our arms, etc. to provide the force necessary to perform the penetrative sex that the Balldo is so hyperfixated on. It was fascinating to hold the Balldo in my hand and feel not excitement or even curiosity, but an intellectual challenge.

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I’m just now exiting a 20-year relationship with a man, and I have my first girlfriend with whom I am deeply in love. The process of discovery is more exciting and affirming than I ever thought possible. I am astounded every day at the sexual creativity that’s possible between two women, and the liberation from heterosexual norms and roles has been a revelation.

There are butt plugs that are specially shaped to reach the prostate. Make sure that any sex toys that you use have been properly tested and guaranteed as safe to use. After all, your genitals aren’t things to be toyed with, unless of course you’ve got the proper toys.

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